Water fountains

Pop pop pop goes the water as is takes flight, always reminding itself of the effort it took. Although it soars to great heights it must always return to the ground that it was trying to leave. Despite this tragic fate it keeps trying nonetheless and each time only to fall again.

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In China: Week 3

I only have a few more days left here in China and I am beginning to regret that I have to leave so soon.

    Day 15 (Wednesday)
Today I was just so tired I didn’t do much. I started to pack some and ate some really good food. We ate dinner with my grandparents and we ate sadly I do not remember all that what was served, all I know is I ate McDonald’s before because I was unsure if I would be able to eat anything that would be tasty. Turns out it was probably one of my best meals I had. Lee’s grandma can cook the world’s best dumplings. I want to cook like her when I get to her age. She is beautiful I want to be like her in more ways than cooking she is perfect as far as a female’s personality can get.

    Day 16
Today we meet with Lee’s Japanese Aunt,  who actually is my dads sister so she is full Chinese but married a Japanese man so she lives in Japan. I loved her even though I didn’t understand much. I could feel like she cared about Lee like a mother loves a long lost son. Prior to meeting my aunt my dad took me to go get more new clothes. I hated it. I am probably the only female who hates clothing shopping when I bring an audience to “score” the clothing shape and me. Just awful, but I did love every shirt I brought back with me. When we got home I was just done. Completely. I wanted to sleep and take my last day as a relaxed day, but my parents wanted me to go see the Great Wall it caused an argument. That’s how the day ended.

    Day 17 (Friday)
Today is my last full day in China and I spent it like any other day, but today I’m not going to describe my schedule or what I ate. This trip has been more than dinners and lunches with friends and family. More than spas and sightseeing even. This trip has been one of those life changing moments. I almost feel as if China is that boyfriend/girlfriend that you hate ever being in a relationship with because when it ends you just feel lost and the dread that it even might end, even though it hasn’t, just tears you apart. That is how I feel, lost and wishing I had more time. One more chance to hold onto the world I fell in love with. Everything is beautiful. The people, the culture, the overall environment, everything. The USA is not home now, China is. A part of my heart will always be over there and that will never change.
       I know one day I will return again but it is so hard to say goodbye. Please if you get the chance to travel there please go, it will open your eyes to the beauty that the world has to offer.

A Year’s Worth of Lessons

Over this year and a half that I have been married to Lee has taught me much. First the disney princess stories you see, where the distraught girl meets a prince and they get married pretty much the next day after they encounter many trials and it ends with happily ever after, are true to a certain degree.
However, the biggest difference is that sometimes you, regardless of your intention, become that fire breathing dragon that captures the prince and imprisons him leaving him with no hope of saving the day. And no matter what you do to help him out it only adds to his pain because only he can pull himself out.

Second, the laughter and little jokes carry the relationship through the worst parts because if there is some memory that never has a chance to be forgotten and that can be dwelled on, none of the bad really matters.

Third, when it is said that when a couple spends enough time together they start to look and act similar, this is most definitely true. I have seen myself grow over the last year from being a scared, timid female who had no confidence into a women who stands up for herself, her husband, and her new found culture. Things I am almost sure would have never have been possible without Lee. And likewise I have seen Lee grow more understanding and accepting of what life gives him. Something I know comes from me.

Forth, the man can be right. When Lee found me, truely I am certain he was searching, I was at my lowest. I felt worthy of nothing that was good and hopeless of a future with any kind of love. Lee was my last chance before I gave up on trying to live happy and with someone who would love me for me. Lee rose to the challenge and helped fix me. He lit the fire in me that allowed me to see all my potential, that he saw even before we were ever married. He told me often of my potential right from the start but I denied it every chance I could because I thought it impossible. It wasn’t until over a year later that I have begun to see what he did that first day.

Fifth, you can never truly express how much you love your spouse. There are no words to describe every bit of my love for Lee. All I can say is I do love him, not because of what he does for work, his interests, his character, or even his willingness to be there for me (Although, these do help keep the relationship stable.), but because deep down under everything I need to love him. I don’t mean I would be helpless without him or that he would be without me. It is almost like the love that makes you need it so badly it becomes your very breath and you will do everything to keep it there. It is unconditional. I don’t know how else to express it.

And sixth, always be willing to apologize. There are many things I know were not my fault, but I apologized to Lee anyway because ultimately I do not need my pride, but I do need him. He and our marriage are more important than any fight he started. Because I say sorry we can work through issues even if he never says sorry himself. Don’t expect it only expect yourself to do ot for both of you. True (unconditional) love is worth enough that nothing should stop it from growing and forgiving.

In China: Week 3

If you haven’t read the two previous weeks and want to here are the links

Week 1:

https://imarriedanasian.wordpress.com/2014/06/27/in-china-week-1/

Week 2:

https://imarriedanasian.wordpress.com/2014/06/27/in-china-week-2/

_________________________

I only have a few more days left here in China and I am beginning to regret that I have to leave so soon.

    Day 15 (Wednesday)
Today I was just so tired I didn’t do much. I started to pack some and ate some really good food. We ate dinner with my grandparents and we ate sadly I do not remember all that what was served, all I know is I ate McDonald’s before because I was unsure if I would be able to eat anything that would be tasty. Turns out it was probably one of my best meals I had. Lee’s grandma can cook the world’s best dumplings. I want to cook like her when I get to her age. She is beautiful I want to be like her in more ways than cooking she is perfect as far as a female’s personality can get.

___________________

    Day 16
Today we meet with Lee’s Japanese Aunt,  who actually is my dads sister so she is full Chinese but married a Japanese man so she lives in Japan. I loved her even though I didn’t understand much. I could feel like she cared about Lee like a mother loves a long lost son. Prior to meeting my aunt my dad took me to go get more new clothes. I hated it. I am probably the only female who hates clothing shopping when I bring an audience to “score” the clothing shape and me. Just awful, but I did love every shirt I brought back with me. When we got home I was just done. Completely. I wanted to sleep and take my last day as a relaxed day, but my parents wanted me to go see the Great Wall it caused an argument. That’s how the day ended.

_____________________

  Day 17 (Friday)
Today is my last full day in China and I spent it like any other day, but today I’m not going to describe my schedule or what I ate. This trip has been more than dinners and lunches with friends and family. More than spas and sightseeing even. This trip has been one of those life changing moments. I almost feel as if China is that boyfriend/girlfriend that you hate ever being in a relationship with because when it ends you just feel lost and the dread that it even might end, even though it hasn’t, just tears you apart. That is how I feel, lost and wishing I had more time. One more chance to hold onto the world I fell in love with. Everything is beautiful. The people, the culture, the overall environment, everything. The USA is not home now, China is. A part of my heart will always be over there and that will never change.

____________

I know one day I will return again but it is so hard to say goodbye. Please if you get the chance to travel there please go, it will open your eyes to the beauty that the world has to offer.

In China: Week 2

It is day 8 of my first trip to Beijing, China and the start of a new week.

***(If you have missed the first week of my trip and wish to read it here is the link:

https://imarriedanasian.wordpress.com/2014/06/27/in-china-week-1/

If not or you already have read week 1, I am sure this week will be just as interesting.)

__________

Today on day 8 (Wednesday) I woke up early and went to work with Lee and his dad. The air was very polluted in comparison to the previous week, but it was still manageable. We had breakfast in the hospital cafeteria. I had a donut-like scone bread. They are very tasty. And then Lee and I split from his father and we went to the Beijing Zoo (the largest zoo) and we walked around and saw all kinds of birds, monkeys, wolfs, tigers lions, and a Panda. (The main reason we went in the first place.) I had never seen a panda in real life and I really wanted to. We must have come at the right time of day because the panda was not sleeping or eating for hours. We arrived right as it was finishing up breakfast and it was pretty active. It climbed up a ladder to a wooden platform, scratched its behind on one of the edges, than climbed to the next platform, and then sat there hugging the pole (yes I mean hugging) as it had a very bad case of hiccups. We eventually did have to leave so we then traveled to lunch. We at at the Golden Jaguar Buffet. It supposedly is the best buffet in Beijing. If you really like Chinese food and the way they cook it then yes it would be the best, but with it being the largest buffet I have ever seen (even bigger than Bellagio’s buffet in Las Vegas) with all the many different food types they cook and the amount s of each produced the taste is sacrificed to a degree. All in all though the food is pretty good. I think I may have enjoyed the lunch more if I was less picky on what I eat. Also I was extremely homesick. But not because I missed home but because I was tired of the culture differences that were leaving me feeling stupid and vulnerable all day long for the previous week. We spent almost three hours there just to kill time as we waited for Lee’s dentist appointment. We then rushed to the hospital (that’s where his appointment was) from the buffet. We arrived on time, but had to wait for the dentist to finish the prior appointment. When she had finished she called us back and got to work. I will remark that she was fast and knew how to do her job and do it almost entirely without an assistant. All the assistant did was run to get a partial anesthesia syringe (Which is not standardly used for pain management. Most major treatments like surgeries or root canals are done without.) and a few other minor things. All the mouth work was done by the doctor. We spent 90 minutes and had 5 root canals filled. However there was not guest seating and I was not about to leave my husband’s side because first the thought of sitting alone in an unfamiliar hospital and not knowing the language made me nervous and second my husband looked like he needed me. I am not sure if he is afraid of the dentist, but I do know that he was anxious all morning and not in a good way. I had to stand there for both of us because just my presence helped him relax. I stood the whole 90 minutes and was glad to do so. And the doctors that saw remarked at how incredible a task I had taken upon myself just for the benefit of my husband’s comfort. They also said Lee and I would have beautiful kids. After that we went home with my dad after he had finished work and it felt like he took an extra long time getting home, but I could have imagined that because I was very tired by that point. We went home showered and relaxed until bedtime.

________________________

Day 9 (Thursday) we we woke up late, or rather slept in on purpose, and traveled to a bank meeting that my mother had been invited to, but Lee and I went in her place. We got really lost on the way there and encountered a few subway scams. If you see a person scooting across the floor of a subway asking for money it is a scam, he walked through security and down all the stairs. It is nearly impossible for him to have scooted his way through the subway’s maze and crowd. But being almost an hour late we found the meeting place. The meeting was as boring as you probably could imagine a bank meeting might be and I couldn’t understand a thing but because they gave gifts it felt luxurious and worth it when we left. We then had Coldstone ice cream (which I will warn you vanilla doesn’t always taste like the USA’s vanilla.) Then we went back to the subway thinking we had an hour of subway traveling in order to meet with Lee’s best friend, Jay, but it ended up being only four stops so we had an hour to waste before meeting him. We spent it looking for a good place to eat dinner with Jay and finding a bathroom. I need to remark that that bathroom was the best bathroom I have ever used in my whole China trip. There were sanitary seat covers, toilet paper, door locks, coat hangers, clean floor, hot water, soap, and paper hand towels or air dryers. (All luxuries in Chinese bathrooms.) We then meet with Jay who looked very surprised when he saw me. We had a very delicious meal and I plan to go back to that restaurant. Jay was handsome and very nice and funny, but way to serious and uptight and I will always think Lee is the most handsome man. Jay mad me think of a punk version of Elvis Presley. His walk, laugh, the way he curled his lip when he smiled, all Elvis to me. But Lee had a lot of fun and that’s all that mattered. We then went home happy, watched some news and talked all together. Then we showered and slept.

_______________________

  Day 10 (Friday) and all day I have been in a haze. My body felt so very fatigued and I couldn’t concentrate on hardly anything. So after we went out to get groceries, returned, and had lunch I took  the rest of the day sleeping and reading in bed. I don’t even remember if I ate dinner. But I slept early.

____________________

Day 11(Saturday) was probably my favorite day so far. We woke up and got ready to leave for the strawberry farms. We had been invited by one of my father’s coworkers to go pick strawberries and take home what we had picked, all expenses paid. The four of us were given a bucket each and we picked until it was overflowing. All together we picked at least 30lbs of strawberries. I loved swiftly and elegantly dancing (not really dancing but moving with the gracefulness of a waltz) from one row to the next picking what I wanted. I filled my bucket first and then helped fill the other 3 buckets. I felt at home in those greenhouses. It made me feel like I was a kid again helping in the family garden. Then we went to lunch with the group we arrived with and ate at a really busy place which I thought was weird. They served Coca Cola soda so I helped myself and left on an insane sugar high and almost drunken from the caffeine. (I hadn’t had caffeine for over a year and decaffeinated soda or juice only on special occasions.) I passed out in the car on the way home. At home I napped for an hour before we had another meet and greet dinner with people wanting to celebrate Lee’s and my marriage. We meet and I drank way to much tea for my liking. (I don’t like tea at all.) Then we had duck for dinner with our dinner guests. This duck was probably the best tasting duck I had ever eaten. (I had had two prior.) And I was given a bracelet and a beautiful shirt and all of dinner was paid for by those who had invited us. But by this point I was tired of eating out and trying new foods (so was Lee). So we both went home frustrated and full. We slept almost immediately when we arrived.

____________________

Day 12 (Sunday) and I woke up pissed and tired. Tired and angry about everything and at everyone. I was even angry at Lee at the start of the morning which I am very sorry for because he never deserves that kind of anger from me. But just like Lee always is, he was there to help me get over myself so I could be happy and smile again. But I couldn’t just enjoy the day like I wanted to. I was forced to sit through another lunch we had been invited to by another set of my In-laws’ network of friends. This has become very painful for me to do. I am sick of sitting at a restaurant that took too long to get to, sick of trying new food or familiar food for that matter, sick of sitting at a table with people I do not know, and sick of not understanding a word that is said. The conversation drew on and on only because these were very vlose friends to my parents. I left angry and tired of trying to entertain my mind for hours. We went home and relaxed and I took a much needed break and Lee slept next to me on the bed, but I didn’t sleep I decided to read. After we had rested for roughly three hours we went back out onto the crowded traffic to make it to a Karaoke Bar. Since it was a weekend and about 6pm the traffic was terrible.

    Day 13
Spa

    Day 14
Dentist and ER

___________________

Want to continue? Here is week 3:

https://imarriedanasian.wordpress.com/2014/06/27/in-china-week-3/