Over this year and a half that I have been married to Lee has taught me much. First the disney princess stories you see, where the distraught girl meets a prince and they get married pretty much the next day after they encounter many trials and it ends with happily ever after, are true to a certain degree.
However, the biggest difference is that sometimes you, regardless of your intention, become that fire breathing dragon that captures the prince and imprisons him leaving him with no hope of saving the day. And no matter what you do to help him out it only adds to his pain because only he can pull himself out.
Second, the laughter and little jokes carry the relationship through the worst parts because if there is some memory that never has a chance to be forgotten and that can be dwelled on, none of the bad really matters.
Third, when it is said that when a couple spends enough time together they start to look and act similar, this is most definitely true. I have seen myself grow over the last year from being a scared, timid female who had no confidence into a women who stands up for herself, her husband, and her new found culture. Things I am almost sure would have never have been possible without Lee. And likewise I have seen Lee grow more understanding and accepting of what life gives him. Something I know comes from me.
Forth, the man can be right. When Lee found me, truely I am certain he was searching, I was at my lowest. I felt worthy of nothing that was good and hopeless of a future with any kind of love. Lee was my last chance before I gave up on trying to live happy and with someone who would love me for me. Lee rose to the challenge and helped fix me. He lit the fire in me that allowed me to see all my potential, that he saw even before we were ever married. He told me often of my potential right from the start but I denied it every chance I could because I thought it impossible. It wasn’t until over a year later that I have begun to see what he did that first day.
Fifth, you can never truly express how much you love your spouse. There are no words to describe every bit of my love for Lee. All I can say is I do love him, not because of what he does for work, his interests, his character, or even his willingness to be there for me (Although, these do help keep the relationship stable.), but because deep down under everything I need to love him. I don’t mean I would be helpless without him or that he would be without me. It is almost like the love that makes you need it so badly it becomes your very breath and you will do everything to keep it there. It is unconditional. I don’t know how else to express it.
And sixth, always be willing to apologize. There are many things I know were not my fault, but I apologized to Lee anyway because ultimately I do not need my pride, but I do need him. He and our marriage are more important than any fight he started. Because I say sorry we can work through issues even if he never says sorry himself. Don’t expect it only expect yourself to do ot for both of you. True (unconditional) love is worth enough that nothing should stop it from growing and forgiving.
I Married an Asian Now What? 